I’m sitting in a coffee shop in a small town in Kazakhstan, I pulled out my iPad and tapped the screen, my screensaver is the Chicago Cubs sign on the outside of Wrigley Field, the score was lit up: Cubs 2, Yankees 0 in the bottom of the 8th. The cubs ended up losing in the 9th, but we don’t need to discuss the logistics of missed plays and all the backward K’s written in the books. Needless to say I hope the fans are keeping the seats warm for me while I’m gone. 

I have entered a new season, a season of waiting. I use to be so impatient when it came to waiting for things, and I have been told maybe a few times I can be a tad impulsive, ask my parents how they feel about my tattoos. I use to think of myself as an instant gratification person, needing to see results instantly or getting too discouraged to continue. However, I know God is really teaching me to wait, to wait for things my heart longs for like a best friend I can share my life with or running into my dream job right when I return home from the Race. He’s teaching me to wait for things I want in this moment, small things like an apple for lunch or gravitating towards bigger things, like wanting to finish my book now, or finally finishing editing a video I’ve been working on for weeks. Even writing these things out, I’m reminded that God’s season of waiting is intentional, because right now, He wants my undivided attention. 

Songbird by Bailey Bryan just come on my nifty Spotify, it’s a song all about calling to God in the drought, how fitting. God has really been showing up in the simplistic but most impactful ways, it’s been really cool to testify to those things. The other day I was praying to Papa about my authenticity, I was asking Him to remind me that I am being true to myself and sharing my testimonies with an honest and authentic heart, loving people well and loving myself well. Right after I was done praying, I got a spark to check my blog and read the comments from my love ones. I scrolled down to the bottom and there was a comment from a man who I don’t know, a man who in this moment, has no idea how impactful he was on my heart. It was so kind, a stranger reading my blog but commenting, how sweet. Well, he commented about my authenticity, and in that moment God had answered my prayer through another. This man commented two days before I even prayed to Papa asking Him to show up in small ways, He knew what I needed before I did, and it brought me to actual tears. I think it is so groovy how God uses people. 

I hold on to the hope that surrounds the waiting game when it comes to waiting on God. But I no longer claim it as the waiting room period of my life, instead it’s the “how can I live my life well and fully in this season of my life until God’s timing aligns with what I need.” I think it’s easy to waste time waiting, it’s easy to focus on what is next that we forget everything that is happening in our now and I don’t want to live that way, I want to intentionally chose my everyday not my tomorrows. I don’t want to miss anything, I learned that in my season of singleness, if all I focus on is when I will meet my husband, I’ll miss out on everything that God wants for me while I am single. If I focus on the dream job I want in my future, I will miss out on what God is trying to teach me on the world race, and He probably wants me to do something completely different than what I want right now anyway. 

I honestly really wasn’t sure where this blog was going when I sat down to type, but I had faith that Papa would intervene at some point, so starting with the Cubs seemed fitting. I felt a tick to hop on the keyboard and I’m so full this afternoon knowing God had my back, He always does. 

So I guess His main message is this: remove yourself from your waiting room, you’ll miss out on what He has for you now if you are too busy focusing on what you want in your future. 

I love you all,

Kenz