A Letter To The Love of My Life; Hi, it’s me.

My love, my heart, my reason;

Prepare yourself, this is about to be the letter of the century, this is about to make the cynics cry, the numb feel and the wars of love to pause in peace for just a moment. My whole life I have prepared myself for you. I started with the outside in the beginning, losing weight, cutting my hair, fixing all the acne, picking the most perfect vintage, eye-catching 90’s appealing outfit. But then, I grew up a little bit, gained wisdom and developed a little thing called self love, and I figured the love of my life would care more about how I prepared my soul, my heart.

So I got books after books to begin to heal, shape my soul and gain every ounce of wisdom I knew how to on my own. I called friends, went on trips, met people that shaped my entire life; all to get ready to meet you. Trust me I know what you’re thinking, I am head first deep into some real life love with
someone I had yet to meet, but I know you have been doing the same. Praying for me, chasing me, preparing yourself for the one day I would finally come running to you. Because you are patient, you’d wait forever for me and my life, you know what I deserve, and you want me more than anything else in this world. I’m not trying to sound too confident, but I just know the love of my life loves me that much and will do all of those things for the one day He gets to hold me.

I am eternally crazy about you, I picture our life together almost everyday. I picture you dancing in the kitchen with me as we blast music making waffles, I picture you holding me up when all I want to do is fall to the crushing weight dealing with life some days. I hear your soft whispers waking me up in the morning and saying goodnight to me when I fall asleep.

We have the kind of love already that nothing can compare too, literally nothing. I write love poetry about you, I think I can hit high notes in songs that are filled with declarations of love and whimsical fairy tale emotions; because that is what you give me… a fairytale kind of love.

I hurry home from work so I can greet you at the door to welcome you home, because you will do the same one day. I prepare all of your favorites because I never want you to feel like I forgot all the little things. I light candles and put on my favorite outfit just to impress you, even though I know I don’t have to because you love me in sweats and greasy hair. You know when I need my space but you are always close enough so I know you are still there, you answer every time I call, and you only ever say yes or amen, every time.

I don’t think I could ever thank you, all the years of waiting, all the tears I have cried over heartbreaks that just don’t make sense to me anymore. The way I use to say I love you with out the weight confuses my brain these days because to think I ever knew what love was before meeting you is impossible to wrap my head around. You are the kind of love that I would have waited my entire  life for because nothing else could even come to half as close to what we share with eachother.

It amazes me to think that you chose me, a girl who hasn’t had it all together for quite some time, a girl has made plenty mistakes, a girl who has sinned far more than she would care to admit and a girl that ran so far away from you and chose materialistic things over you, I don’t think I could ever do anything right in this life that it would make sense to me why over everyone you thought to yourself, “Yep. That’s the one, there she is.

I find myself missing you when we go an hour without speaking, I find myself missing your voice when it seems like I stopped looking for it in my everyday, I realize all you have done for me in the quietest most reflective moments of my simplistic days, and I know what they all say.. a love like this won’t last forever, but I can’t wait to prove them wrong, because our love will last an eternity, I’m sure of it, and I am not sure of much in this unpredictable life.

You teach me lessons, you pick me up when I fall and you love me on my worst of the worst days when everything seems like it is falling apart, you remain my constant. I depend on you for so much, it’s almost like I wouldn’t be me with out you..

But with all that being said, all the words written strung across this page all the love that I have put into every single syllable, you love me ten times more. You created an entire love story for me to read everyday so I can know you deeper, love you harder. You would die for me, again. Your love for me is like spring time, fresh and new everyday. You love me so deeply that you would leave every one else to come find me if I have gone astray. You giggle when I say how much I love you, because the love you feel for me isn’t even comprehendible. You bring me back to life, every time.

You heal me when I am broken, you push me to be brave, you give me opportunity to walk in authority, independence and strength, but you are always close enough to reach out your hand to stable me when I stumble. And the most crazy part is, that is the kind of love you say I deserve, that is the kind of love you have destined for me to obtain.

I don’t have to earn your love, I already have it, even when I abuse it from time to time. You call me back with your truth and your light, with your joy. You are the love of my life. I mean how could you not be? How could I be so certain about all of this and then not think you are it for me, that you are
so enough for me? My sweets, you are what I have waited 24 years for.

No one will compare, no one will ever understand and I am the luckiest girl in the world to be chosen by You. You call me bride, You call me daughter, You call me beloved, You call me chosen.

Saying I love you a million times doesn’t do it justice, but now, that is all my heart can muster, with tears filled in my eyes and my soul on fire.. I vow to love you for the rest of my days, I vow to put you first even when it is hard, I vow to die to my fleshly desires of this world and to chase you in everything I do, I vow to listen to the best of my ability and I vow to go wherever you may
call me.

My protector, my constant, my north star, my God, my Lord, My papa, the love of my life,

Thank you for being mine.

Love,
Your beloved.

“You are the sky over Montana, I wanna stare and take in the view. You are the lights in New York City, nobody shines as bright as You. I wish I could take you in my suitcase to every city, to every new place. It doesn’t really matter where I travel to, my journey starts and ends with You.” -Suitcase by JJ Heller-