Training Camp has come to an end and I can physically feel parts of my heart that were once closed off, now reopened. Do you know how absolutely insane it is to be around people that share the same fire for the Lord as you do? Well, let me be the first one to pen my thoughts to paper for you to read how absolutely life changing it is, and with a cherry on top; I met the love of my life. He is funny, dependable, a story teller and above all the man that I have fallen head over heels for. But wait, I have so much more to share, more to obsess over and above all, more to brag over before I tell you more about the man I love, because let me tell you, I could write a novel about him.
Over the eleven days I cried more than I have ever cried in my life, I laughed the loudest I have in a long time and I finally was able to let go of so many things my heart was still holding on to. I met 29 incredible human beings that pushed me to be better and were always there to lend a shoulder to cry on, arms to hold on to and an ear to listen.
Training camp is hard, it’s harder than I thought it would be, but it was also so rewarding, it was transformative, and above else, the place were God knew I needed to be.
I met someone. I met someone I talked with for hours into the night, shared stories and laughed together, who made me feel again. I met someone who is just like me, who came to knew me quicker than I ever thought possible. I met someone who saw me for me and never asked me to change. I met someone who made me laugh. I met someone who cried with me. I met someone who made me feel not so alone. I met someone who reminded me how much I am loved. I met someone who changed my life forever, and she will never know it. But most importantly? I met the love of my life, Abba.
I heard God’s voice so clearly, it was as if he was sitting right next to me, cracking open a book and sharing with me all of life’s secrets. He taught me that I am ENOUGH, he taught me that I am worthy and he reminded me of just how strong I have always been. I opened myself up to my Creator, and he never has, and never will disappoint me.
Training camp was messy, it was tents covered in bugs, chugging water because we were all hungry, it was long walks and a ton of chairs. Training camp was rainy, slipper and tiresome. But most importantly, training camp changed me. It opened me up to love that I have never felt before: Love for myself. I can honestly look into a mirror and say out loud how precious I am, how beautiful I am and how I will never doubt my ability to do anything, ever again.
God is alive, God is moving, and God is loud. God’s loudest words come to us in the quietest of moments. His whispers can silence crowded rooms. His gaze can cause jaguars to cease, and his love can cause broken people like me to feel again.
For everyone who has asked me about my experience, to those who are so interested in my story: Please, for your safety buckle up, because God is about to take me for the ride of my life. I am so in love with Abba that my heart physically hurts when I think about all the time I wasted blaming him for my short-comings.
I love writing notes to people who impact my life in some way. I love penning my thoughts to paper to express how much I truly adore someone, or how I truly admire them. It has taken me too long, but here it is, my Love Letter to my Creator. I’m just sorry it took so long.
xoxo,
Kenz
