God is real, so so real.

My mind keeps wandering back to the evening of June 4, being so uncertain and so worried about what would take place within the next 11 days of my life. But then my mind flashes back to reality and into the now, and I can’t help but be so grateful for those 11 days and so mindful of every single thing I learned, wrote down and felt. Those 11 days showed me the woman I want to be in Christ, it showed me the strength I always had in a single finger tip and it opened up parts of my heart that were once layered in cement. 

God is real, I saw first hand that my God is real, and that He has never left me, not even in my darkest quietest moments, He continued to heal me, even when I didn’t ask for it, even when I didn’t want it.

I start every morning with meditation prayer, asking God what he wants from me, and I have had several breathtaking experiences since being back in Illinois, and I’d love to share one with all of you. 

One morning last week, I prayed to God to place someone on my heart that maybe I have overlooked, or maybe that I haven’t paid much attention to, and he whispered so loudly, so clearly that the children at my work were my target for that day.

I work at a non-profit summer camp that serves kids from communities around the Fox Valley. Last year, I had the privilege to work with the teen men and women for seven weeks, and they poured their hearts out to me and vise versa. This year, I work with the kids that are apart of our camp, but my heart has stayed with the young women I had mentored the year prior. 

Last Thursday I asked if I could do a devotional with them, and I had not planned or prepped for it (which if you knew me, makes no sense) But I trusted that God would show me what He wanted the young women to learn through me, and He surprised me to the point where I lost my breath. 

I taught on forgiveness, something that I am familiar with. So when I started speaking on forgiveness, I heard God whisper, “No Kenzie, they need to forgive themselves.” I stood there for a moment, almost on the brink of tears, because a week prior a mentor of mine taught me that very same lesson. I did not feel qualified to share on this topic, because I, myself, just learned it myself and I was just trying to figure it out for myself, so how could I teach on it that quickly? 

Well, let me tell you, my God spoke through me that night, and hearts were opened and tears were shed, but after the climax of the message, and after the pain had been released, I saw fresh eyes, ready to take on life again. Ya’ll, I wish you were in that room to see my God move, it was honestly mesmerizing. I saw young women let go of so much shame, so much pain and so much agony over their past. And I learned something so valuable, we are ALL qualified for God’s Kingdom, we are all worthy to share His love and His joy. 

My God is amazing. How lucky am I to get to tell nations and nations of people of His love and grace? I can not believe that God has showed me that this is where He wants me, and this is where I get to be. 

I leave in 38 days, and my heart has never been so full and so ready for all that He has in store for me. If you feel called to donate to HIS mission through me, click the donate button. If you feel called, whatever the amount, I would be so grateful. I can not wait to serve My God, and go where He has called me.

 

xo 

Kenz